Rebuilding.

Hey guys, I have some things I have been thinking about and I just need to get them out of my head. So forgive me because I know it will be all over the place... ha. :/

There are things in my life that have really sucked, moments in my life that have changed who I am. Good or Bad. Most of the time it's because I have made wrong decisions or taken the wrong path with something and it has led me to a place of...well...brokenness. I use to have so many "friends" around me all of the time....but I have realized that I never really got close to anyone. Let me back up.

I use to be apart of a massive church... I played on the youth worship team for over 8 years... I led the worship team for almost 2 years. I loved going to church, it was my sanctuary from the crap going on outside of it. (at least I thought) I had a great team full of talented kids... but I failed them. Over those 8 years I used church to run away from issues that I had. Demons that I had to face everyday. It took about 8 years for these issues to surface...and when they did. It was too late. I say it was too late because It was bad enough in my life to where I lost Everything I loved.


I lost: "Friends", worship team, church, freedom, down even to my motorcycle (the freedom part ha) I literally was not just broken...but crushed by the very crap I tried to hide and control. I now realize that the only thing that would move me to change, (not just change my actions, but change my mindset) was to lose everything... Start over, and Rebuild a new life with Christ.

I now know the God let me go down as far as I could with the hope of turning my life around. I am saved by grace and a new creation each day. I have to head to work. But I'll get back on here later and try and finish my thought...(ha) later.